That day in April

03.04.16.
That day.
That day in April that finally came. 

That day when one thing about me changed. 
One thing.
Nothing else has changed – nor the fact that my dear Petter and I are happily in love, our love grows everyday and we know that it will be us forever.
WE’RE STILL US.
But what’s more important in this case: I’M STILL ME. 

The one thing that has changed, is that I’ve finally managed to accept myself as I am – a little bit more than before. Accept something that I’ve tried to push away for so many years.
I lied to myself. Over and over again.
Stop it – it’s just imagination.”
Stop it – it’s all in your head.”

Then, this year came.
April came.
And with that, that day came.
That day when I defied my fears and my inner barriers, and went over to the mirror to admit it all to myself. Once and for all. I knew the truth; it burned with the intensity of all the thousand times I’d denied and rejected it throughout the years.

So, there I stood, in front of the mirror.
Just like a movie cliché.
Finally, I opened my mouth – and the words that came out, lifted a burden from my shoulders that I didn’t even knew existed.

“Hi. I’m Ingrid Emmariza.
And I’m bisexual.”

Bi

“It’s not enough to reach out for our dreams – we also have to never let go.”
– Ingrid Emmariza 

Let me entertain you! (Confirming my existence)

Hi all you Emmazing people out there!

Okay, guys. My readers. My dear followers.
Let’s be real here.
It’s been a long, long, long time.
Or no, wait … Let’s say a long, long, long, long time.
(Apparently, my sense of humor hasn’t changed.)

I’ve visited this place now and then, though, and written some drafts (actually fourteen, to be precise) – with the intention of releasing my need to create something. Countless times, I’ve tried to seek out and grasp that special sparkle I need to write something that might open your eyes.
… But as you see, it’s been a long time coming.

However, I’ve to confess that despite of this absence of writing skills, I’ve managed to make a lot of YouTube videos since the last blog post was published – and wow, that really felt like confessing that I’ve been cheating on someone …
I used to have a connection between my YouTube channel and this blog, as I consider my YouTube videos as an extension of my written content – and today, I’m going to do something about that!

May I present to you a glimpse into what I’ve been up to these months!
You have some time, eh?
Sit back and enjoy this collection of videos that I’m most pleased with!

MY FIRST TATTOO!
I’ve wanted a tattoo for many, many years, and in November, the dream came true. How it feels getting a tattoo? And what my tattoo symbolizes?
I’ll tell you everything about it!

DIRTY PHILOSOPHERS VS. CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY (feat. Maria Sunshine)
Meet my roomie, Maria! We found some deep philosophical questions on the Internet and let Cards Against Humanity answer them. It was so fun I can’t even put it in words!
Make sure to check out her YouTube channel, as well!

HOW TO DO THE DISHES
Teaching you how to dance away the worries about that big bunch of dishes after Saturday’s party.

… Yep, that’s it!
I hope you had a good time watching these videos. As I always mention in the end of them: I really hope I made you smile.
Because hey, what’s more beautiful to hear than the sound of someone’s laughter, and what’s more beautiful to see than the sight of someone smiling?
(The sound of the pizza car coming your way, and the sight of a freshly baked Margherita Pizza, of course!)
All jokes aside – if I made you smile, please let me know – and hopefully, you’ll let me try to do it again!

Emmariza with a hat

“It’s not enough to reach out for our dreams – we also have to never let go.”
– Ingrid Emmariza 

Reacting to old Facebook statuses

Music Of The Life

Hi all you amazing people out there!
Guess what? It’s throwback time! So why not make it the most embarrassing throwback ever? There’s no doubt … Let’s check out my old Facebook stuff!

“What’s on your mind?”
This little question is probably the first words that meet your eyes when you log into Facebook. And it’s been asked as long as I can remember. I’ve to say, it’s pretty interesting to ask myself the same question now, as I dig into my old and apparently brainless Facebook statuses from 2010. However, those statuses are originally written in Norwegian, of course, but I’ll do my best to translate them as authentic as possible. Seriously, someone should have warned the 14 year old me about my extremely low level of intelligence.

“Today, I’ve learned that ‘Big One Triple Cheese’ tastes extremely good when one’s hungry, and when you’re not hungry anymore…

View original post 387 more words

Flirting with autumn

Hi all you Emmazing people out there!

Before you read on, I want your mind, your thoughts and your entire body to be completely at peace. So, now, I want you to conquer your very own favorite snuggling place; your couch, your bed … Or just bury yourself into a huge bunch of the softest pillows that exist within your reach (I guess you know what I’d have chosen … )
You see, for this blog post, I really want you to be wrapped in a pleasant and peaceful atmosphere …

Autumn has never been among my top four favorite seasons. When I think about it, we actually have only four seasons in total, as far as I know. Therefore, I wanted to explore this season and dig deeper into the wonders and beauty of it, as I tend to consider it cold, dark and … well … sad.
It resulted in a video, trying to catch those small signs of autumn and how it affects nature. Also, I added my self-written piece for flute and piano, “Winds”, a musical illustration of the winds of autumn.

Sit back and enjoy – I hope you like what hits your eyes, your ears … and your heart.

Kaldt

“It’s not enough to reach out for your dreams – we also have to never let go.”
– Ingrid Emmariza 

10 living rooms of my dreams

Hi all you Emmazing people out there!

The 4th of September – which I’ll remember as the most emotional day in my life – was my last day as a soldier. My last day as a member of the Band and Drill Team of His Majesty The King’s Guard of Norway. With a huge amount of baggage stuffed into boxes and bags, I left the military camp – the place which I’d considered my home those eleven months. A couple of days later, pretty confused about getting back to full time civil life, of course, I got a brand new home: My boarding school.

Great change? Oh yeah. 

Space, comfort, privacy, opportunities … Although I’ve lived here for about two months already, it’s still a whole new world to me! I’ve to say, I’ve found this change of home and the corresponding feeling of gratitude really interesting. So, today, I want to explore luxury, in the shape of 20 living rooms from houzz.com. In my eyes, they’re all so luxurious and so specious that they make me feel like I shouldn’t dare to touch them even with my innermost dreams.
So … Let’s get some cash money flow!

1. WOODLANDS CUSTOM HOME 

Holy pepperoni. My mind is already blown! The whole living room is so richly decorated I’d feel like a queen wandering around in it! And of course, the grand piano is a big, big plus, as well as the huge windows and the great view. However, although I’m a fan of bright and white surroundings, I’d like to add some more color to it all. A colorful four cheese pizza with ham and bacon on that table, for example.

2. MEDITERRANEAN DREAM

Woah, I fully understand why this living room is given its name – it sure is a dream! It doesn’t only have a beautiful fireplace, but also a perfect TV shelf. And hello, baby; isn’t there a swimming pool outside, as well? But the best part of it all: LOOK AT ALL THOSE PILLOWS! Get outta my way, people – COWABUNGA!

3. MODERN FARMHOUSE

Hey … Where did the TV go? Well, to be honest, it doesn’t matter at all when it comes to this beautiful design!  Imagine yourself waking up in a late and sunny Saturday morning, putting on your extra fluffy bathrobe and slippers. Then, you walk into this living room to the sight of breakfast on the table … *sigh*

4. BAY FRONT PARK SHORE

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. YES. So far, this is my absolute favorite! Once again, I’d like to add a pizza or too and maybe some cheeseburgers to color this room, but otherwise, I find this living room very pleasant … AND I FOUND PILLOWS, SO IT’S OKAY.

5. DONI FLANIGAN INTERIOR DESIGN ARTIST

Wow, man! This looks like the holiday apartment of some kind of oil sheik – so exotic. So many details. So much gold. So much decoration. There’s a whole lot of “too much” in here, but just imagine spending a few days in here! I think I’d spend several hours just admiring, contemplating and inhaling all those patterns and details – and then, my brain would get a solid breakdown.

6. HYBRID LOG HOUSE

LOVE cabin life, so this log living room really hits my heart! And whoa, what a beautiful view! I could sit in here for hours, enjoying a good book and the sight of the wonderful nature outside. Yep, I really loved this one!

7. OCEAN HOUSE

Oh, hi there, couch! Well, first of all, I really like the clean and modern design, as well as the lighting – the sum of this makes it a quite cozy place to be! Actually, this looks like the perfect place for a solid “home alone” party. Or huge pizza parties, as we actually have four tables here, people! Yeah, definitely huge pizza parties. Lots of’ em.

8. BAYHOUSE

Guys, look at this – there’s a bar in the living room! Actually, this room reminds me of a hotel lounge, and I’ve to say – I like it! My brain is trying to figure out an opinion about the decorations, though – too many details, or okay? Well, a living room with such a built-in bar belongs to my dreams anyway, or what?

9. NAPLES FLORIDA

Well … This living room looks like something Christian Grey would like. The lack of colors, pizzas and cheeseburgers makes the room less satisfying to my taste, and also, the design is so … clean. So … simple. And so … white. But oh yeah baby, those windows, with that wonderful view on top of it all!

10. CALIFORNIA COASTAL IN NAPLES FLORIDA

… And oh, here’s the short of colored version of it! Wow, I really like those golden colors … It seems like the room is constantly bathed in the light of a sunset. In here – looking at the great ocean, surrounded by the warm atmosphere created by those golden colors – I’d find a lot of inspiration for songwriting.

… Aaaaand we’re back to reality! Wow, luxury is … well … interesting! And I really loved number 3, the modern farmhouse … But hey, it’s great inspiration, though! Browsing such websites is actually a whole lot of fun, or what do you think? Did you like any of these 10 living rooms?
And maybe I’ll check out luxury yachts next time?

… And by the way: True luxury is the feeling of a fluffy bathrobe.

Bathrobe

” Be Emmazing – smile with me and love yourself, because I said so.”
– Ingrid Emmariza

Found in my cave

Hi all you Emmazing people out there!

Y’know, sometimes – when my brain finds itself capable of further complicated actions – I think. For several minutes, actually. So, this is a message for all of humanity: I’ve figured out the most important questions in life!
Here they come:

– What should I wear today?
– Mascara, eyeshadow or both?
– Corn Flakes or Cheerios for breakfast?
– Should I clean my room today?

The last one of these hit my mind the other day, and after a couple of minutes of serious hard work, my brain came up with the following decision: I should dig into my cave and freshen it up – and then, I should make a video of it, in the shape of a room tour, making it look like I’m a tidy person.
Also, by watching my favorite YouTubers, I’ve learned that those so-called room tours make you super cool. So … Guess I’m super cool now.

So, with this video, I’ll give you a little look into my little cave! (Watch out for certain quite recognizable creatures.)


2015-08-02 17.19.13

”Be Emmazing – smile with me and love yourself, because I said so.”
– Ingrid Emmariza

If I wear a boy’s clothes

Hi all you amazing people out there!

Okay, first of all; please tell me you see the word play in the video title. No … ? Okay, just read it over again … Just read it a couple of times … Okay, then, try singing it to that song by Beyoncé …
(And now, please tell me to face the fact that I’m not a wordsmith, by no means.)

However, a couple of days last week, during autumn holidays, I found myself in the middle of a creative bubble; y’know, those moments when you physically feel the itching in your fingertips to create something. I wanted to discover the way clothes say things about you – but how to put a smile on people’s faces at the same time? So, to add a twist to it, I borrowed a bunch of my boyfriend’s sweaters and T-shirts … Well, okay, I’ll be honest; I invaded his closet.

By the way, I showed my most recent videos to my little brother the other day, and to my great joy and also great surprise – as I’m well informed that I hold the eternal title of The Most Awkward Sister on Earth – he grinned from ear to ear. So, as I always say:

Enjoy my video, smile that Emmazing smile with me and of course, make sure to turn on that HD!

Now, break free from your computer, get out there, grab your friends, a tasty drink or – the best of them all – twenty cheeseburgers, and enjoy this lovely Friday night!

Smillittda

” Be Emmazing – smile with me and love yourself, because I said so.”
– Ingrid Emmariza

Reading jokes to sad music

Hi all you Emmazing people out there!

Wow … How much I’ve missed my blog and every single one of you inspiring me to keep up my work on it! I just realized that the last time I posted anything here, was during my summer holidays … Which means: Approximately fifty billion years ago. Trust me, so insanely much has happened since then, but all that forms a huge bunch of storytelling that I’ve decided to save for later.

Until then – check out what happened when I got the idea of reading bad jokes out loud to sad music! So … Turn on that HD, sit back and … Smile with me!

Korthår

“Be Emmazing – smile with me and love yourself, because I said so.”
– Ingrid Emmariza

How to make a song

Hi all you Emmazing people out there!
(Once again, my brain apparently had some kind of breakdown while making my new video – so yes, I forgot filming my lovely intro. AGAIN. *Triple facepalm*)

You might recognize today’s video, as it’s – just like the “Turned On” video – is a video version of a written blog post. Yep, it’s a video version of “5 steps to write a song” !

Turn on that HD, sit back and … Smile with me!


Yeah baby – 
I’ve got a feeling that my video making is actually going somewhere; it all started as I wanted to spice up my writings on this blog with some videos – y’know, as I felt that I was not capable of showing the true me only by the use of a keyboard. Also, I’ve always considered myself as a better writer rather than an entertainer in front of a camera – but after making those few videos for my blog, I’ve revealed something new about myself: Wow, video making is really my thing!

You might recognize today’s video, as it’s – just like the “Turned On” video is a video version of a written blog post. Yep, it’s a video version of 5 steps to write a song” 

” Be Emmazing – smile with me and love yourself, because I said so.”
– Ingrid Emmariza